yes, just like the tragic Stone Roses song, "I Wanna be Adored," i really do. i really do. like it's not enough to have a husband and daughter who i dote on regularly, it's like i need fans; i need cheerleaders. i don't think this is irregular; i think most people who need them won't say so... and i think nearly all people need them.
why? why would you need someone outside your immediate circle to cheer you on? well, if you're at all like me, you need people to tell you that the work you've done/are doing is noteworthy, and the way they tell you that is by proclaiming their love for what you've already done, be it yesterday or ten years ago (or ten years from now.)
once you have children you realize you've become extended -- for those with children older than mine it means if your kid does well in karate you feel exonerated for something... though you cannot name what. for me, with a small kid, it means i feel like an ass pretty much all the time because she's two, and people who are two make all kinds of fumbles. these fumbles, for me, are reminders of my own personal "woopsie-daisies" in daily life. the kinds of things that cause me to wonder whether my brain was in my head or not.
whatever the reason, whether it's human nature or just me being me, or just being sensitive, emotional, needy, vying for worthiness, needing to be needed is ultimately human, and in so being, is innately part of trying to both fit in, and stand apart.
if you're one of those who makes an effort to stand apart by making sure everyone knows you don't need them, good luck to you... after all, you were born in a human body for some reason. i find it hard to believe that reason was to be ignored; on purpose or not.
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