Nook | That wretched device being sold at Barnes and Noble

So you guys have heard of Nook right? It's that digital thing that seems as cool as the iPad but only gives you print media and nothing else. First of all, am I crazy? (Yes, I am but that's not what I mean.) I like to actually buy BOOKS or at least get BOOKS from the library or friends. Nook turns books into digital pages on a flat-screened situation. They sell all manner of ridiculous accessories, like your Nook needs a tuxedo and a cumber-bun before you can read from it.

So I ran into an old friend who works at Barnes and Noble and has since like 2005. He's a great guy and a solid human being. I asked him how work was going. He said it had been insanely slow since the launch of Nook, and that the booksellers were being forced to promote and sell the Nook. Essentially, he noted, booksellers at Barnes and Noble were putting themselves out of a job. He even insinuated that whispers of layoffs were in the air because how many people do you need to sell books when people are buying digital books -- which requires no assistance?

I OBVIOUSLY have nothing against technology -- it's how I make my living for God's sake. But I have a serious spiritual issue with watching someone read Charles Dickens from a Nook. I think I can honestly say I'd rather be in a snake pit than watch someone read Breakfast of Champions on a goddamned Nook.

I told my Barnes and Noble friend that I would start a protest with a slogan, so pass this along: "Don't be a Shnook, don't buy a Nook!"